hello Miss Indiana.

Getting all over crazy with my gray leopard blouse and colorful feathered mask. I feel like my name is Indiana, I like how it sounds. hehe





>.< Obsessed







xo Anna

I'm not missing you

"I'm Not Missing You"

Oh, Oh
I'm not missing you
Been through just about everything that I could go through
When it comes to relationships
Don't know what I was missing or why I ain't listen
When I told myself that was it
Now here I go, hurt again
Cause of my curiosity
Now that its over
What else could it be he just had to cheat

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?
'Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

[Chorus:]
(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
But this time its different
I don't even feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you

Its a shame in a way cause
I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me
Did I leave him, is he right in front of my face oh
Will my true love ever be?
Why would I go on a search again
When I know what the end will be
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me?

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?
'Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

[Chorus x2]

No I can't be with you
Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me
I can't keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed
And the person I could be
Love's good when its right
And when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life

[Chorus]

(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
(I'm not missing you)
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
(I got life to do)
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
(I used to hate it)
Oh different, oh see the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you

I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me (knockin' at my door)
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
Oh different, feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you

I'm not missing
I'm not missing you(yeah, oooh)
I'm not missing you (oh baby)
I'm not missing you

Please..

I do seem like Summer.

MAY BE…

Maybe. . we were supposed to meet the
wrong people before meeting the right
one so that, when we finally meet the
right person, we will know how to be
grateful for that gift.


Maybe … it is true that we don’t
know what we have until we lose it,
but it is also true that we don’t know
what we have been missing until it
arrives.


Maybe … the brightest future will
always be based on a forgotten past;
after all, you can’t go on
successfully in life until you let go
of your past mistakes, failures and
heartaches.


Maybe . . you should hope for enough
happiness to make you sweet, enough
trials to make you strong, enough
sorrow to keep you human, and enough
hope to make you happy.


Maybe … the happiest of people
don’t necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the most of
Everything that comes along their way.


Maybe .… the best kind of friend is
the kind you can sit on a porch and
swing with, never say a word, and then
walk away feeling like it was the best
Conversation you’ve ever had.


Maybe … happiness waits for all
those who cry, all those who hurt, all
those who have searched, and all those
who have tried, for only they can
appreciate the importance of all the
people who have touched their lives.


May be . . you should do something nice
for someone every single day, even if
it is simply to leave them alone.


Maybe … there are moments in life
when you miss someone — a parent, a
spouse, a friend, a child — so much
that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real, so
that once they are around you
appreciate them more.


Maybe … giving someone all your love
is never an assurance that they will
love you back. Don’t expect love in
return; just wait for it to grow in
their heart; but, if it doesn’t, be
content that it grew in yours..


Maybe .… you should dream what you
want to dream; go where you want to
go, be what you want to be, because
you have only one life and one chance
to do all the things you dream of, and
want to do.


“Life is only travelled ONCE, Today’s MOMENT becomes Tomorrow’s MEMORY.
Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the GIFT of LIFE is LIFE itself….”

Anna Amphigorously

Recently, I discovered some inspiring photos from a girl who also named like mine.
I mean the moment I saw her photos I fell in love to it. She inspires me so much despite at her young age.

You can check her Flicker and Blog Site to know her more:
Anna Amphigorously Flicker Photos
Anna Amphigorously BlogSpot









Its very important for me to be inspired in every ways that I want.

xo Anna

Broken

TORN.

I feel like my hearts been crushed and burned.
I feel pain.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.






There are things that we don't want to happen but have to
accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we
can't live without but have to let go.






There are those promises I was hoping to work out. I thought that fixing it slowly by making it all up again was something I should do or to never lose faith on making our family together. As expected, those promises made broken so was my heart and all I hoped for. No one understands because all I just wanted was to make it all up again yet he never changes. He keeps my heart broken and I'm tired. So exhausted from all his lies and promised to love me no matter what.



Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best
relieved by the letting of a little water.



It's like I just want to write it all off because I can see I don't deserve this pain that I felt today and everyday. I just feel that I am biased but it all. I was the one making effort to make us work and accept his love and forgiveness. He was someone I thought would totally change for the good of our relationship and to make a new start slowly by fixing it. He broke my heart before and yet again he made it once more. I wonder why he won't change, is it because he love me so much he can't bare all the pain that's why he has the guts to hurt me? It doesn't make sense when he told me I don't understand his feelings at all when I totally am yet I make it easy for us because they're are other people we should understand also and not being selfish of what we should do for our happiness.

Then we have different opinions and decisions that made us feel apart from each other. This decision made us choose to be away from each other and misunderstandings left us broken.

The worst part is we decided to be apart but there this piece or connection that keep us intact and it is indeed our child, Adam. I felt bad from it all because If I could just turn back time and listened from all my instincts before things wouldn't got worst. But, we can't change whats already happened. We are all broken and I have to accept it now. Maybe that's the only thing I should keep him as a part of me because I can't give myself once more, he broke my heart so badly I won't let him kill it for good.



yet again, its not the end of the world and on the other hand.. I miss myself. I tried not to be selfish yet sometimes when life decides to break your heart and stop loving someone maybe its all good if you just let yourself be loved by those people who truly deserve your feelings.

I decided to conquer my dreams and no one can stop me now. This time I should never lose focus and I know I will. I won't be affected anymore and this broken heart of mine, I will shower it with everyday happiness on little things that can make me appreciate and inspires me. To be intact with heart breaks make me feel hopeless and I don't deserve it. Most people in this world felt it also so I'm not the only one getting the same part but I just feel like I am more blessed than they're are because I saw this things happened early still. I can change for the better and make those people I love the most happy.

For the most part, I'm free and single. Maybe that should be it by now. I know broken hearts heal and I accept it. I should love myself now not him. I know his just a guy who makes me feel love yet not. A particular someone I believed I can be with for the rest of my life yet he just can't. I know I'll missed him yet its all over, the damage had been made. I just hoped for the best from both of us. I know things will get better if we just accept it.

I don't hate LOVE
coz I know I deserve LOVE.

xo Anna

I need some ISCREAM.

Random life.

Right now I am not happy for who I am. I mean there's a feeling of self-doubt and insecurity. Its permeating myself wholly and I can't stand it anymore its the same feeling. I don't know what decisions I should chose to do because there are these people who needed me.

On the other hand, I feel betrayed inside not by reality but emotionally. Somehow I felt that way because there are those people who does what they really want in their life and is determined on what they really wanted. I wonder why is it so hard for me as a human being when I know we are all the same which is capable of doing something and achieving something. Why is it I am not capable of pushing myself to that am I scared or discouragement preoccupied first??

I have this situation which some other people only look up for those who made their life better ways not those who failed and still continue failing, afraid and not believing what they could do for the better. Those people always have to reprimand and out trust to move forward. I feel like I am that type of someone right now. Self-doubt is killing me. I am afraid, discourage and hopeless its always the same feeling especially when theres no one helping.

As they say, your the only one who could help yourself. To be able to learn and stand up for what you really wanted. Explore every emotion and try to fix them. Don't drown from all the Roller coaster feeling that the world hand you. There are those people that you couldn't help but hurt you or worst destroy your soul.

So don't let them destroy you and stand up for what you could do as a person.
But for me right now, the way to overcome this is to not avoid myself to let go from this kind of feeling or I would be miserable my whole life.

There is this blog i saw yesterday which he does art with quirky quotes to it which he called them Stuff no one told me and I kind of like the way he said some because thats reality.
Heres some of it:




So this kind of stuff really open by eyes for a bit. It kind of tells you that some people also realize what your feeling and you need to get over.


Oh well, I just need to stay focus from now own and try to puzzle things that would make me happy and do what I really want. Find some remedy of this self-doubt of mine and stay away from insecurities.

I'm currently listening to the devil wears prada.
Still Fly.


I want to be INSPIRED thats the best word I could cope up and I want it BADLY!
Have to post some of the random things to about me later.

xoAnna

Do I also disappoint you?

"The tongue is like a sharp knife; Kills, without drawing blood." ~ Buddha
"Death is peaceful, Life is Harder."
-Bella, Twilight.




I'm such an awful cheerful these days. I tried to wear a mask which I'm showing people I'm still strong and really try to ignore all those criticism that I get to take up everyday. It's really giving me a major depression because all those thoughts keep repeating inside my head. Its like life is giving me a huge burden inside my chest I don't how long I can take this pains inside.




Though I keep still thinking of many ways I should really put myself into. I thought of an option on really go somewhere else. Be my own and just try to work and also earn at the same time. Maybe it should be best if ill go somewhere far because it hurts me alot to see this depressing situations that also affect this people that I love.



Being hated is really not the love that I really want to feel of. The feeling of showing it to you makes you wanna runaway and be gone. It's like never wanting you is also not wanting yourself. I guess thats not the way it should supposed to be. Life is so unfair when people only look up to those people who should they must respect of. People who lost their ways also needs a chance to change their ways or understand their situation not hating them or criticize them to death. It's worth not to be respected if you have that kind of attitude towards others.

Some people only look above when there already up as they called that and then they had this attitude where they're eating them alive. I think people like them is worth to be hated. Criticism is really not my friend after all and saying it to other people is really not a good feeling at all. Eventhough some people see me that way, I wouldn't do it to others because I don't want them to feel the way I felt today.



I always feel like I'm hopeless because I get to fight all my troubles especially my bad habits and the consequences I still need to fix up. I still feel like I'm haunted with my own monsters and locked inside a room together with them.

But I still hope for the best. Even though sometimes I feel alone and hated. Try to communicate with god is the major hope I still look up to. I also feel he is also disappointed with me because I get to fail him in many ways. I do promises which I never did anyway and all things from the past I know he thinks I should pay for. But you know God is good. I know there will come a time he will help me. I always tell him my decisions but I want him give me a sign if I should do it or not. But still I'm uncertain.



But for now, I'm certain about love. I mean not only love for a person towards affection but understanding and chances. Deny for hate and really just be happy even though we are like walking on threads and we are miles or higher apart with each other.



Also loving thyself. You're the only one who could take chances with your own so don't lose the grip. I know I do now. I know things is really rough and depressing me lately but still I'm holding on. Not by hate but by love. When you feel like its impossible to feel it like the situation like mine just embrace reality and choose the right decisions to ignore things and channel yourself for something which you can let all the feeling swell upon.



I always try to wear a smile and think that everythings going to be alright, I know it will. Depression is always an enemy. Love for yourself is a tool. And Hoping is a road towards absolute happiness.

PS:
Please Spread the LOVE!!!!





Even others do not,





For me Love is a great feeling and spreading it is a must because there are others out there who struggle to cope up with there own monsters that they don't know its eating them whole. I must say its a feeling one must have and we deserve to be.



It's either write your heart out or freely show it. Just do love!





Because
what I want is,
We all need is...
and



xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox


I really love this picture! This is with my sisters jumping up high! I really love them because they never fail to understand me and love me...



I think this is for now,

xoAnna