I'm in state of confusion yet again not because I miss that guy but because I have to make a choice. On my own, on whats best for us or what may lead me to good things which I acquire for myself in the future. Is it good to just stay away from the people I love or the people who eventually annoyed me at daily basis. I'm so paranoid and frustrated here and all I do is sleeping and getting all exhausted at the end of the day. I need constant change in my life now but I'm not sure if my decision to leave and work for something I not familiar with is the rightest decisions.
Still, I know I'm all jaded here and alone. I want to learn to be my own because I know I am now.. Even though, to think I have a baby or a child to give a full responsibility with, I don't want to be selfish to take him all alone with me because I know I can't and never will be.
I know someday he'll understand and all I can do is to continue to support and love him here in my heart. I won't be a good mother yet I can still support him in every way but for now I have to think for myself now not for everyone but for me.
So the answer now, will I take the opportunity or not?
I hope god will answer me but I guess his not.
so now maybe I should give it a try for a change.
xo Anna