Does hatred make this problem resolve. Does this situation makes you okay when you feel that hatred in your heart and can you sleep at night or can you stop thinking about that someone you hate the most??
Why do people let this feeling overcome them or eat them alive just to see that someone they hate the most what they feel and continue hurting them. Does this shit makes them so happy??
Well, as for me to realize in my 21 years of existence hatred was the most painful feeling or thought that keeps coming back here in my heart and its not that I also feel it or I am actually the only one victim of it but mostly the people I love are the ones who shows me that hatred they like the most.
I wonder why it exist and how people don't realize that having so much hate makes everything so wrong and likely make us worse at the same time. All I wanted in life was to be understood and to be loved but why they hate me so much because I choose mistakes and wrong paths and they thought I don't deserve a chance to be prove myself to be better, to make us better?
Does chances hard to give? and does hatred are better to felt?
If there is one thing I want to scream at them. I want to tell them I'm sorry for being who I am who they hate the most. For making their miserable life so much complicated because I exist. If I fail them every time and having that traumatic experiences on their thoughts they felt I'm a god damn burden they wish I died the day I was born. And when things gets worse they think I would came back for them and continue hassling their peaceful existence.
But when sorry is hard to accept.. that's when hatred and abandonment rule in our lives.
I'm totally tired in this hatred cycle I kept facing on and on... its like it never ends... like I'm in roller coaster ride and I kept vomiting because I can't take it anymore.
So when they like that hatred the most well this time I won't show it back to them. I want them to felt that I am not affected anymore because hatred won't exist here in my heart. Hatred are like monsters who slowly eat your soul alive and when that time comes those people who you love the most will also feel the same way. And this time I don't want that to happen starting today.
My soul felt crashed and burned because of that hatred feeling they see in me and suddenly I seem to realize that feeling the same way will make this fucking situation more unhealthy as it is.
Today I promise to stand up for love and erase hatred here in my heart and in my so complicated life. I know when i start to deny hatred, I know people will come to realize this also and I know someday things will get better. I prefer to give chances than hate because thats who I am and what I believe in. That's one things for sure now... I'll try harder even if its not, doing it will change alot. God knows that.
xoAnna
PS:
Please deny hate continue LOVE?
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