I think im going to explode!

and I wanna believe when you tell me that it'll be ok but not today...
tomorrow it may change..........


and here in I am,
in a state of nowhere and seems like I'm all messed up..
I've created a complicated situation yet I know its all my fault and I know I deserve all this consequences I am facing right now.

you know when you choose your heart and follow it, the consequences will be your family because they hate the guy you eventually love and choose for. Well I think that is my situation now. The worse part is you don't want to choose because you also love them and you don't want to lose them... My heart is aching and I can't puzzle the words I want to scream here in my heart. All I wanted was to make things okay between the both of parties because I want us to be in good terms now... but its not.

So the only solution I think is to be on my own now and stand up for all of my decisions in life.. maybe being dependent with my parents is the one thing I am also attached so much to them.. I love them but I also have responsibilities of my own and maybe to start things up is to prove them I can be on my own...

so maybe I'll just make things cool off for now and not push through hurts and the heavies because I choose this and they make me choose... it hurts alot and I felt exhausted in this same dilemma I keep myself with.. maybe this is the time I should let things done and be on my own now...




but I really hate this day!!!!! shit
I felt like dying but I hope I can do this..
I'm still hoping for the best of it all..
please pray for me if your reading this?

xoAnna