I am not me again.

“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise”



I'm in a state of not being the person who I wanted myself to be. It's like someones animating my body and my head and I'm convinced that there is really somethings wrong with me. I'm so bothered because what I should supposed to do is being someone who's responsible in her actions. Someone who will do her responsibilities and there I am doing the opposite ways and I really hate myself. That is why I think I am not myself again. I asked myself why I am being like this again? Still tempted with the wrong actions that makes things ruined and lose focus at the same time.

Maybe its because of my bad decisions I chose those things that lead me to person whom I don't really like again. Maybe I should stop or avoid those mistakes I did from the past and should have a strict motivation on changing my attitude problems. Being lazy, lying, promising, spending, and going through bad habits are eating me alive I guess because this are the things that is tearing me into pieces. I feel like I'm now walking on the wrong path because of it and I don't want to be like that anymore. I've been through it and its really exhausting how it results me on the wrong ways. So I guess I should kill them off and try to fix myself again.

Maybe I should place myself to the things more important and try to act from it. Stop pretending like a princess and should really stay focus. I hope I could find me again and change for the better. Should channel myself to those things that won't keep me astray.

and I have to wake myself up to reality because I seem to be having a nightmare. I should pray harder now. I miss myself being inspired and push myself for the better. please let me wake up.